I'm White. I Hate Racism. What Do I Do?

Six Ways You Can Make a Difference

photo by Sarah Snyder

As I write this post, racism is back at the forefront. George Floyd became the latest victim and it spawned a whole new series of marches and demonstrations around the US. If history is any indicator of what the future holds, sometime in the next few weeks a new story will take over the media and racism will again take a seat in the background. White people who made bold statements on their social media feeds - blocking and unfriending people who were insensitive to the Black Lives Matter movement - will go back to life believing racism is bad and doing nothing about it.

But what about the black community? They'll go back to "normal" life, too - living with systemic oppression, being called out as "fitting the description" of a suspect, knowing that there are groups of people out there who hate them because of the color of their skin, and working harder than others every day to try to gain an equal footing.

I’m not making a statement because I believe I have everything figured out. I'm writing it because I believe there are people out there who want to be part of the solution, but don't have any idea of what to do. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I've spent decades working on understanding the real issues and helping to recreate a country I love into a better version of itself.

Here are some practical ideas for you if you’re ready to make a difference in the fight against RACISM:

R - READ

This is probably the easiest step of all of them. That’s part of the reason why it’s first. It also works because “R” is the first letter in RACISM – and the acronym will make it easier for us to remember what we can do.

Please don’t think that because this step is easy that it’s not important. Taking the time to read a book, or well researched article or blog can help reframe your thinking on the subject of racism. I may be stating the obvious, but it’s important to read black authors who can speak from experience.

Here is a list of suggestions to get you started:

· The Souls of Black Folk, by W.E.B. Du Bois – Du Bois is the founder of the NAACP. As I am writing, this book is available free on Kindle through Amazon Prime.

· The Meaning of July Forth for the Negro (Speech), by Frederick Douglass – Historical perspective is very important.

· Invisible Man, by Ralph Ellison - This book was recommended to me. This is a novel which some of you may prefer over non-fiction.

- We Need to Talk About an Injustice, by Bryan Stevenson - For those who would rather watch than read, here's a good TED Talk.

As you read, you’ll certainly come across things that you don’t agree with. The point is not for you to agree with everything, but to gain perspective and understanding.

A - ASK

We don’t often know what is going on in people’s lives because we don’t ask. It’s easy to assume that the people in your neighborhood have had the same basic experiences in life that you have had.

I remember one time hearing a friend of mine sharing some of his story with a group of people. This guy, like me, has been married for decades, has a great family, a good job – I thought our life experiences were very similar. As he told his story I learned that when he was younger he had fled his birth country on foot, seeking refuge because his family was in danger. I had known him for several years, but I never took the time to get to know his life experience.

I’ve found that most of the time people are willing to share their story with people who care about them as a person, and really have a desire to get to know them. Ask away, lean in.

C - CHANGE

I think most people realize that change is needed in our country, but we don’t know what that means for us. And if we’re honest, we’d change if we wanted to, or if the opportunity to do something different was comfortable, or we saw a way that it would benefit us. Please understand the change that is needed is going to be uncomfortable and the whole purpose is to benefit other people.

If your struggle is not knowing what you can change, here are a few options:

· Become a regular customer of a black-owned businesses. Your first thought may be, “But I don’t know any black-owned businesses.” Let that sink in for a minute. That’s part of the problem. You do research on businesses all the time. You get and give recommendations. Do the research and change your buying pattern. Here's a website that could be helpful - officialblackwallstreet.com.

· Volunteer with a non-profit organization with black leadership. Most non-profits are always looking for volunteers. When you do volunteer be willing to do whatever is asked of you, and make sure you stay late to help clean up and have conversations. You may have to try a few different groups before you find a place that you fit, but keep after it. The key here is sticking with it for the long-term. Once you find your place, be committed. Your opportunities to make a real difference come with time and relationship.

The important thing to understand here is that once you start to change you can continue to change. You may not believe that you’re making a huge impact when you start to make a few small decisions that are new for you, but the best way to change the world is to change yourself, then invite others to join you.

I - INVEST

In order for racism to become a thing of the past you need to have priority relationships with people of color. This means you need to invest in those relationships - go out for coffee, do a project together, go to a game, reach out when you haven’t seen each other in a while. If Black Lives Matter, then black individuals need to matter to you.

You wouldn’t think twice about investing time in your kid. You rearrange your whole life to go on the annual guys hunting trip or girls’ weekend. You do these things because those relationships are important to you – they shape you and make you a better person. The more you invest the richer your relationship will become.

S - SPEAK

These last two points are critical, but you need to be informed by Reading, Asking, Changing, and Investing as you practice these last two points. Your growing understanding of the black experience and real friendships both motivate and instruct how you speak.

Unfortunately we live in a world where many people are still very condescending toward black people. Whether it’s a derogatory comment about a person, or a generalization that paints a minority in a bad light, people are still causing damage to the cause of equality by what they say and do. This is where you can really start to make an impact in our culture.

When you’re in the break room at work and someone says something that is racist, don’t hesitate, say something. You may be able to crack a joke that puts someone in their place but still keeps the mood light, or you may need to confront and have a difficult, awkward conversation. The fact is, if you’re in a group, there are probably a bunch of people around who would agree with you, but they are afraid to speak, or don’t know what to say. Whether you stand alone, or with others, don’t let racist speech poison your workplace, community, or family. Say something.

Sometimes having a white person speak up to support something said by a black person adds validity to it. This fact is sad. The color of your skin should NOT determine the credence of what you say. But if I can say something that puts my black brothers in a better position, you’d better believe I’m going to say it.

M - MAXIMIZE

Many changes are needed – politically, educationally, structurally – and no one person can make those changes. But you have influence. Whether it’s in your neighborhood, at work, in your family, your church, your political party – you have the ability to affect change. If ending racism is truly important to you, then you need to take the influence you have and use it to make a difference. You may want to take some time and brainstorm two lists: 1) where you have influence and 2) how you can use it to end racism.

People often think about how we can use our influence to advance our personal standing. Justice requires that we use that same power to benefit those who are at a disadvantage. When you have a friend who has been unnecessarily pulled over dozens of times and you have influence, what are you going to do about it? When one of your black co-workers gets overlooked for a promotion because he “lacks social skills,” are you going to let that go? When someone in your Subdivision Regulations Revision Committee wants to make a change that only affects one house in your subdivision that just happens to belong to a minority, are you going to roll over because you nobody else is speaking up?

We’ve got a long road ahead of us. The inequities of racism will hit the headlines and drift away, then come back and drift away again. If you go with the flow, you’ll never really make a difference. Thankfully, you have the ability to choose to make regular decisions to help raise the tide and drown out racism. It will require effort and sacrifice, but justice is worth that.